maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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