wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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