The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
