In the future we'll all be gay
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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