i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
