I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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