Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize