so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The best revenge is premature balding
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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