M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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