Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
