A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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