And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
