Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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