im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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