shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
