C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
PANTIES FOUND
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
