life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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