hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
