I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
why is half of my head shaved?
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