is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
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I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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