considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
