"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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