whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
