You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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