Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
