im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
