We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
