I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
