There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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