your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
