I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
