Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
