I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
