We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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