Kiss
Puke
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
