Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize