I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
