So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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