They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
