Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize