jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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