I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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