She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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