Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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