There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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