I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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