He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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