there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
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How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
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Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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