10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
