Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
