wanna go halves on a baby?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
