Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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