Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
