P.S. I can't hear my feet
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize