wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
