Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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