In the future we'll all be gay
false alarm. still invincible.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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