I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
