so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
