sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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